Denial of Service


Denial of ServiceIn the spirit of the successful USA Network series Burn Notice and Royal Pains comes a new series concept… well, actually, it’s an old concept… specifically, it’s the same concept as Burn Notice and Royal Pains, given a new setting, new characters, a new profession and a new catchy name that suggests the profession and situation of the main character. Soon to be a major television series, unless it only comes out as a free e-book on my site.

What the hey, I had time to kill.

Pilot: Pirates of the Californian, subtitle: DOS isn’t a vacation!

Episode 2: Meet the Trojans, subtitle: DOS hacking fools

Episode 3: The Ukrainian Connection, subtitle: DOS Vedanya!

Episode 4: L.A. Conspiratorial, subtitle: Only DOS facts, ma’am!

Episode 5: End of Line, subtitle: DOS IT!


All text and original art copyright ©2009 and 2010 Steven Lyle Jordan. All rights reserved.

All original stories have been collected into this volume. Original cover by Steven Lyle Jordan.


Like all of my humorous stories, I wrote this to provide some free entertainment for my fellow members of the MobileRead ebooks forum. I was attempting two things: One, to intentionally ape two series that I highly enjoy, Burn Notice and Royal Pains, both of which take the same premise—highly-effective professional gets uprooted from his job through no fault of his own, is dropped into a new (and sexy) setting, and must use his LEET skillz to survive—and mix all of the rest of the characters and details into a different program. And two, to see how well I could do contemporary American TV-style drama-humor-fiction, a genre I had never attempted before.

When Royal Pains was debuted, a few seasons later and directly after Burn Notice’s timeslot on the same network, I thought it was hilarious how similar the shows were. Inspired by the blatant nature of the show-duping, I applied my efforts to creating another mix on the same premise, and presto: M.D. Schitz and his companions were born. I wrote the first story, Pirates of the Californian, not sure if I had the right voice to do a contemporary first-person irreverent adventure with some odd fourth-wall-breaking twists. But I liked the way it came out so much that I immediately put it up on the MR website in its own thread.

The response was better than I’d expected. Before long, I had kudos coming in all over the place, offers to create covers for the story, questions about the characters, and karma spilling into my inbox. In short, DOS was a hit.

Fortunately, I had other ideas for stories, and I set about getting them down. After I had done three stories, I decided not to spend the year writing an entire season’s worth of episodes… besides, I had a lot of people clamoring to know what the deal was between Mike, Pete and Gail, and I knew I couldn’t maintain the mystery for 15-20 stories. So I decided episodes 4 and 5 would end it as a miniseries, but tie up all the loose ends. Yes, the love triangle was preset from the beginning… but not the resolution to Mike’s blacklisting. So I worked out a good resolution, found a place for Gail’s reveal of the deal between her and Pete, and wrapped it all up in a chase scene that would’ve had Steve McQueen rooting for our heroes!

Okay, for you younger set, Paul Walker. What-ev.

Anyway… the miniseries was a smash hit with the MR members, and I quickly rounded them up and placed them on my website for people to download in more convenient ebook packages. I still have people telling me how hard they laughed and how much they loved Mike, Gail and the rest of the group. And after prodding, I finally decided to put them all together, the entire series into one big package, for your enjoyment.

Will Mike and the gang ever turn up in another series? Well, no one’s managed to tell Mike yet that there’s no such thing as IT… so anything’s possible…


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